Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Unnatural Carrot Manipulation

So, say you scrubbed a whole bunch of carrots for the crock pot (dinner) and a pot of soup (lunch). And say there was one left over and it got left on the counter. Say you saw it there later and didn't really feel like getting a whole ziplock bag out just for one measly carrot. And say it stayed there for two days. It would be pretty floppy, yeah? Yeah. Very floppy. So floppy, you could roll it up into a spongy orange spiral. And then you could hold the spiral closed with a rubber band. Wouldn't you then wonder if you could rehydrate that rolled-up carrot, so it would be crunchy and carrotty but still all curly? Wouldn't that possibility open up a whole new world of wacky vegetable garnishes? Yes. You would and it would.

Unfortunately, I have to stop you in your tracks right there. No more building castles in the sky with manhandled carrots. It doesn't work. You might put the rolled up, rubber-banded carrot in a bowl of water overnight, but all you'd find in the morning would be an indignant (if crisp), straight carrot, lying next to a bowl of water and a discarded rubber band. But comfort yourself with this: when you get a motion-activated video camera with slo-mo playback, won't a repeat of this experiment be fun? And also, if you and your crime-fighting partner find yourselves trapped in mortal peril with a floppy carrot and some water, and MacGyver has already knocked himself out with a contraption made of a post-it note and some ham, I'm sure you can think of a way to harness the Escaping Power of The Root to free yourself. Good luck.

1 comment:

Nev said...

I love this every day thing. Makes my daily application procrastination so much more pleasant.