Month Three

1.4
Second ultrasound: the baby is huge! Well, two inches, head to butt. But it's twice as big as last time! We saw it wiggle and flex and wave its little limbs, and we saw fingers! Five fingers! We're hoping for about twice that many, but five's a really good start. We saw the baby's profile, and so far, the baby has its father's nose: very small and cute. Whew.

1.10
This week, my craving has been grapefruit. I've had two whole ones already today, and I could really go for another one. I try not to grunt as I devour them, but I'm not always successful.

1.17
Apparently I'm over the grapefruit craving. Had half a one this morning, and it was just a nice piece of fruit, not the Amazing Citrus Adventure it's been for the past couple weeks. I don't have a big appetite in general these days—I eat, but I don't get too excited about it. So, in the grocery store this morning, not in a hurry, I just pushed the cart up and down and looked at all the various foods, waiting for something to jump out and be my new best friend. No surprise: beef hotdogs. Surprise: baked beans. I think I need iron.

I had trouble getting dressed this morning. Hmm. Maybe I really am pregnant. Luckily, I had a meeting of my Council of Advisors tonight (well, my book club, same thing), and they gave me the list of yeahs and nays in the world of maternity clothes. Good: Gap, Target, and Old Navy. Bad: Motherhood Maternity.

1.18
How am I feeling these days? Bloated, gassy, heartburny, and alternately cranky and grumpy. The levels of crank and grump are unprecedented. Despite the fact that I've never been known for my willpower, I've always assumed that my sunny mood was thanks to an intentionally healthy outlook and a good dose of self-control in times of trial. Turns out I have nothing to do with it. It is a bestowed gift, and can apparently be unbestowed.

When eating makes you feel bad (see gas, bloat, and burn above), it can be hard to work up much of an appetite. These days, eating and cooking are tedious and unbelievably frequent necessities. I am not used to this.

1.20
I want to go live all by myself in a small, plain shack and eat small, plain meals. In other words, Prenatal Depression: I have some. It sucks. I have decided not to implement the Shack Plan, so instead I slouch around the house, growling and spitting. In good news, I still enjoy chopping vegetables and working in my studio. Everything else? Not that much.

1.21
You can make instant mashed potatoes with all milk (no water). They're fine that way, and extra-calciumy. And also good cold, for second breakfasts. I still haven't gained any weight, so I'm having as many breakfasts as I want.

1.28
I was better! Chipper, energetic, happy. Then I stayed up late to watch as the BBC messed with Jane Austen and got only 8 hours of sleep. Turns out my new good mood was dependent on the 10 to 11 hours of sleep I'd been getting every night. I'm going to take a nap.